I'm Not Crazy Just A Little Unwell
by ThornyRoseGarden
Summary: My name is Roxas Strife and I'm not crazy. I only live in a mental institute, have two functioning minds in my head and have a crazy pyromaniac roommate. Au. Akuroku and other side pairings. Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

My name is Roxas Strife and I've been living at the mental institute for a year now. Thing is, I'm not crazy and I don't belong here. I know, I know, what crazy person doesn't that? But it's true! I can think and function like any other normal person can. I got top grades in high school and if I was still going I would have graduated with honors.

So you're probably wondering why I'm in an institution if I'm not loony in the head. See, the thing is I don't only have one functioning mind…I have two. To be more precise, I have a split personality and his name is Sora.

Sora appeared when I was 10 years old, coincidently around the time I had lost all my memories of my previous years. 10 years' worth of memories just went poof. But Sora was worth any memory I had had.

Sora used to come out whenever I had to socialize with friends or my family. Anyone who thought I was their friend was probably actually Sora's. As for my parents, well let's just say I haven't seen my mom for more than a second since Sora appeared and I am not 18 years old. I can't explain it really it's just whenever I see her I switch to Sora whether I want to or not.

Anyway back to why I'm staying here at the institute. See, I was hiding Sora from everyone for 10 years and was rather successful at it. Then I screwed up by telling my boyfriend of 5 years, Hayner, the only person that I actually interacted with, and the first chance he got he went and told my family. Being the lovely parents they are, they sent me here. Home sweet home.

Everything changed after that. I guess after Hayner betrayed me I just didn't want to be around people anymore. I forced Sora out more. When one consciousness is out and about, the other consciousness resides deep into our mind, completely unaware of the outside world. Sora could join the circus and I wouldn't know about it until I came out.

Since we both don't have memories of what the other did, we write everything in a journal so the other would know what happened and what to expect. It's how we kept our secret hidden for so long.

This whole ordeal is complicated but hey, who said life was easy?

* * *

My name is Sora and I'm Roxas' other half which is so cool! I mean, how many people can say "Hey I'm a split personality!" Well, I couldn't for a long time but now that I live at the institute I can! Yeah, it might sound weird but I love this place! I mean the food could be better and by better I mean actually using real meat instead of the imposter slop they substitute instead but at least here I'm not something to be hidden.

I kind of feel bad about liking it here though especially since I know Roxas' despises it. He never comes out anymore, only when something scares or upsets me. And when he does come out he doesn't talk! Not one word. I mean I would understand if he was sulking but not talking for a whole year? I would go nuts! Then I would really belong here…

He's just scared to get attached to anyone though because of Hayner. Usually I was the one who socialized with people but Hayner was Roxas' first real friend and later his first boyfriend.

I don't know what to do. The only thing I could do is hope that Roxas will find someone else and that person will help him come back out and talk. But with the way things are going it doesn't seem very likely. I'm scared that he'll disappear forever and I don't want to be alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Roxas opened his eyes and much to his utter disdain he found himself staring into poisonous green eyes that could only belong to Dr. Vexen. Of all the psychologists that Roxas had to see, and he did have to see quite a few every month, Roxas hated Vexen the most. Ironically enough Roxas saw him more than anybody else. The reason being Sora felt like "He's going to cut open my head and examine my brain while I'm still alive!" so more often than not, Sora forced Roxas out.

"Sora?" Dr. Vexen said questioningly, his pen poised over his clipboard ready to record everything that was said and done. Roxas smirked as he made himself more comfortable in the plastic chair he was in. His smirk grew into a full blown grin when he saw Vexen's expression contort into a glare. The psychologist hated Roxas just as much as Roxas hated him. "Roxas. Why is it that every time Sora comes in here you come out?"

Roxas shrugged in reply.

"Are you going to actually say anything today? Or be of any use to me in any way?" Roxas shook his head cockily and Vexen gritted his teeth. "I don't have the patience to deal with you and your attitude today. I already had to deal with another difficult blonde patient who insisted on dancing around the room saying 'Dance water dance!' so since you don't seem to be in a cooperating mood just leave."

Roxas stood up, saluted to Vexen whose glare somehow became even more venomous, and left the room. He nodded politely to the nurse that stood outside. Every patient had a nurse that escorted them to and from their doctor appointments. It had to be the most boring job in the world since they had to stand outside for the entire time waiting for the patient to stop yammering away to the psychologist.

His nurse was Aerith and she was a kind person and even Roxas, who could bring himself to hate everyone, liked her. She had soft grass green eyes, a gentle motherly smile and long brown hair that was always tied into a braid with a red ribbon at the end. Everyone in the institute, excluding nurses and doctors, saw her as a mother figure and often went to her if they had a problem.

"Hello Roxas." Aerith greeted softly. She was the only person who could differentiate Roxas and Sora with a single glance. "Your appointment is already over? It's only been a few minutes."

Roxas shrugged and tilted his head toward Vexen's room. She followed his gaze to see Vexen snarling and slamming things down in the room. He had a very short temper when he was unable to make progress with a patient. "I see. Well let's get you back into your room."

Roxas nodded eagerly and followed Aerith through the maze of the hallways that were all identical save for the different black numbered doors. Roxas couldn't help but wonder how long it took for the nurses to memorize the locations of everything. Probably took them months. He could remember one nurse he had before Aerith that had led him through different hallways for nearly an hour before they finally got to the correct door.

In a few minutes Aerith had led him to a large steel with a small machine attached to it. The nurse swiped a card that hung from her neck and the door swung open revealing a staircase that led to where the patients resided.

Roxas took his time going up the stairs knowing how crowded it would be when they got past the second door at the top. All too soon they were at the top and Aerith swiped her card again at the second door and when it swung open it revealed utter chaos.

The hallways were filled with patients and nurses that supervised them and Roxas tried his best to avoid contact with anyone which was no easy task but he prevailed in the end. They were now nearing the hallway where his room was and Roxas' pace began to speed up until Aerith stopped walking. He stopped walking also and looked at his nurse curiously.

"Roxas, there's something you should know that you probably don't yet. You have a new roommate." Aerith informed him sympathetically and Roxas inwardly groaned. Whenever he came out, he had holed himself in his room because he felt safest there but now that he had a roommate he didn't know how much that would change. He had been lucky so far that it had taken an entire year for the institute to force him to share his room.

He tried to summon Sora out but he felt through the mental connection they shared that Sora had buried himself deep into their mind and wasn't likely to come out anytime soon. Sighing, Roxas nodded to Aerith and she led him to his room. He waved good bye to her and with a deep breath Roxas entered the room.

His roommate was already in the room and studied him in fascination. He had vivid green eyes that were cunning but also playful, bright red hair that was long and spikey and from the looks of it he was anorexic. Roxas couldn't help but think that he was actually kinda hot.

"Are you going to keep standing there like a dumbass?" His roommate snarled when he caught Roxas staring at him and Roxas' snapped out of his daze. Good looking or not, his roommate was a jerk. Roxas gave him an icy glare, earning him a surprised look which he promptly ignored. He immediately went over to his bed and he discretely dug out a journal from between the mattress and the wall. Roxas took a second to run his fingers across the smooth brown leather cover before he flipped it open to the last entry.

Dear Roxas,

I have an appointment with the big meanie today to you'll probably be coming out. It's been a whole month you know! Not much is different except we have a new roommate. His name is Axel and he's also a big fat meanie! Stay away from him I overheard the nurses saying he's a pyromaniac! I'm not sure what that is but it sounds scary! He doesn't like me at all even though I tried my best to talk to him so he should leave you alone.

Also Riku and I are getting so close it makes me sooooo happy! I never had a boyfriend before but I want to be with him. It's weird, I've never had feelings for some before. I wonder if it's okay since I'm a split personality.

Anyway I don't know how long I'll be gone for I'm really tired since I've been out for so long. It's been a whole month since you've been out and a whole year since you last spoke to anyone. I'm worried about you Roxas.

Love, Sora.

Roxas sighed and rubbed his eyes. He knew Sora was worried about him, he had to be to be serious about anything, and he did feel bad but he just didn't want to be out in the real world anymore. When he was deep in their mind he felt safe and he didn't have to deal with real life bullshit.

"Hey is everything okay?" Roxas glared at the red head and didn't even bother to try to reply back with gestures like he usually did with other people. Just because they shared a room didn't mean he had to acknowledge or even be nice to him. What Roxas failed to see was the mischievous look that formed on Axel's face.

Roxas flinched when Axel began to whistle a high pitched tune. It was so high that Roxas checked to see if his ears were bleeding. It was so annoying that he swore he heard a couple of patients start to flip out in the hallway.

"I'm sorry was that annoying? If it was, just tell me and I'll stop." Axel said as he paused his little tune. Roxas glared at Axel hoping that if he put enough energy into it that the red head would just explode. But not leave any chunks of flesh behind because that would be gross and the janitor would hate him.

The red head just merely smirked at him before he continued his joyous tune. He checked on Sora again but his other conscious was still relatively deep in his mind. So he was stuck staying out.

At this point Roxas figured he had two options. He could leave his room and try his luck outside with the other patience and hope that they didn't kill him or he didn't kill them. His second option was to stay in this room and just wait it out until the red head got bored or his vocal cord imploded.

Axel hit a particularly high note and Roxas groaned as he felt a headache slowly appear in his head. Suddenly the whistling stopped and Roxas heaved out a sigh in relief thinking Axel had finally gotten bored. He didn't bother to look at the red head to make sure which proved to be a big mistake.

Unknown to him, Axel was slowly creeping toward Roxas until his face was just inches away from the boy's ear. He took in a deep breath and whistled a soft note not wanting to actually make him deaf but still wanting to annoy the crap out of him.

"God, would you just shut the fuck up!" Roxas snarled. Then, when he realized that he had spoken for the first time in an entire year to someone he absolutely hated no less, he covered his mouth. This wasn't what he had planned. He wasn't supposed to talk or interact with anybody. It didn't matter if it was to yell at someone it still counted.

'Fuck this shit.' Roxas thought as he took the mental connection between him and Sora and tugged at it as hard as he could. He forced Sora out of his mind and threw himself in Sora's place.

* * *

Sora yelped when he was slammed into consciousness, wincing when he felt how badly his head was hurting. Unlike a smooth easy transition like usual, this time it was as if someone decided to wake him up with a frying pan in his face. Not a nice way to wake up.

He immediately checked the mental connection and found Roxas to be pissed off about something. Wondering if it was because of another patient, Sora focused on his surroundings and squeaked when he found his new roommates face mere inches from his own.

"What's wrong roomie?" Axel purred and Sora blinked in confusion. The red head almost never talked to him and when he did it certainly wasn't like this.

"What's going on?" Sora finally asked, tilting his head in confusion. The red head studied him before he growled under his breath and stomped back to his own bed. "Axel?"

"You're not him anymore." Was all Axel said and Sora scratched his head then noted that he was holding his journal. A quick flip through it told him that Roxas didn't write anything in it.

Still confused, Sora shrugged and decided to forget about it and deal with it later. Axel scared him so he wasn't about to go and try to annoy him with questions. He liked his head where it was.

Sora skipped out of the room, greeting some of the patients along the way to his destination. A lot of the people here weren't actually "bat shit crazy" as Roxas put it. Most of them just had problems that left them unable to live with the rest of society. Or at least that's what Riku had told him. He was always saying smart things like that to Sora.

It made Sora wonder how Riku could put up with him so easily. It was common knowledge that he wasn't that smart. Even back in high school it had been Roxas who had done all the actual school work and exams. But Riku never seemed to care and was so patient when he didn't understand something.

Sora reached Riku's room and he poked his head in, grinning when he saw that Riku was there. He was beautiful in Sora's opinion. He had long shoulder length silver hair that shimmered under any light, emerald green eyes that were always guarded around everyone but softened when Sora was around and although he had a small build he was quite strong.

Letting out a small giggle, Sora pounced on Riku's back and wrapped his arms around the silverette. Used to Sora doing it on a daily basis, Riku didn't even stumble and he wrapped his arms behind him and around the boy to make sure he didn't fall.

"Riku!" Sora cheered happily and Riku let a small smile appear on his face at Sora's enthusiasm. While most found Sora to be a bit much, he found it endearing.

"Hello Sora, how are you?" Riku asked politely and Sora jumped off him and onto the bed before replying.

"I'm okay! I had a meeting with jerk today so Roxas came out but I don't think he was out for long. He actually forced me to come out which is a first. I didn't even know he was able to do that!" Sora said.

"Why does Vexen scare you so much?" Riku asked, avoiding the subject on Roxas. Whenever Roxas was mentioned it was a painful reminder that Sora was technically not real no matter how it seemed like he was.

"Because! He looks like a mad scientist! I don't want him to dissect me!" Sora exclaimed as he through his arms in the air to accentuate his point. Riku laughed softly at Sora's childishness.

"I don't think he would do that to you." He said as he sat beside Sora.

"But if he did you would come help me right?" Sora asked shyly, smiling when Riku ruffled his hair.

"Of course I would. I will protect you from everything that's going to harm you." Sora cheered before he leapt at Riku and hugged him tightly.

* * *

AN: Updated already since the last chapter was so short but it will probably be another week before I update after this. Sorry for any grammer mistakes I don't have a beta .


	3. Chapter 3

Important note: For reasons that you will find out in the future I changed when Roxas lost his memories from when he was 7 years old to when he was 10 years old.

* * *

"When I grow up I want to be a butterfly!" Someone screamed in the hallways startling Sora out of his bed and waking him up from him slumber. He grunted and yawned, already used to being woken up by screaming. It worked a hell of a lot better than an alarm clock that's for sure. Next to him he heard Axel grumbling angrily as he began to get dressed in their mandatory white outfit.

Whenever a patient came to live at the institute they were given two pairs of the uniform and a pair of pajamas both of them pure white. It was probably the one thing about the institute that Sora hated. He wanted to wear more colors like red, blue or even yellow. Just something else than the same boring white clothes. In fact every once in a while Sora would spill food or something on them just to finally see some sort of color on them. Of course it never lasted long and a nurse would make him change into his other outfit but it was worth it.

The screaming continued in the hallway although it was beginning to fade as the speaker moved down the hallway. Axel stomped to the door and screamed so many insults at the patient outside that it was almost like another language. Sora didn't even know what half the things he said meant. Satisfied that he got his point across, Axel marched back into the room and glared when he saw Sora staring at him awestruck.

"Do you want something?" Axel snarled crankily and Sora shrank, a pang of fear running through him. He did what his instincts told him to do and he fled.

* * *

Roxas blinked in mild surprise when he found himself awake. It hadn't felt like a long time at all. Hell it didn't feel like he was gone for even a day. He tried to stand up but found himself unable to because blankets, his blankets he realized, was tangled around his legs. Frowning, Roxas looked up and scowled when he saw Axel looming over him with a huge glare one his face that was probably meant to scare him but he's seen worse.

Roxas quickly came to the conclusion that Axel had probably scared Sora into running away. Sora wasn't exactly a wimp but he wasn't good around pissed off people especially if that anger was directed at him. Roxas could feel his hatred for Axel growing and he scowled at the red head.

"Oh, Roxas?" Axel asked in surprise, his bad mood from being woken up so abruptly dissipating.

'No, it's the fucking tooth fairy you dumbass. Now let me punch out your teeth and I'll be on my way.' Roxas thought to himself as he began to untangle the blankets so he could get away from the freak that he had the pleasure of calling his roommate.

When he was free he stomped out of the room quickly and made his way down the hall before he realized that he didn't have any idea of where he was going. He didn't come out very often so he didn't know where everything was. Hell, he didn't even know what time it was or if he had any appointments today. All of the appointments he had for the month were written in his journal but that was back in his room and he really didn't want to go through Axel to get it.

Maybe this was the institutes plan. Stick a crazy person in the same room with a less crazy person and maybe the less crazy person would get sick and tired of the crazy lunatic and get better and leave the institute. Or maybe he was just overthinking things and the institute just hated him. Yeah, that sounded like a much more plausible theory.

"Sora!" At first Roxas didn't even respond to the shout until his brain reminded him that he was usually known as Sora and of course anybody would assume he was his other conscious. Quickly getting over his "duh" moment Roxas turned to the speaker.

It was a boy that Roxas couldn't recognize which was hardly a surprise since Roxas didn't know anybody at the institute. The boy had long shoulder length white hair which Roxas immediately tried to figure out if it was natural or not, aquamarine eyes and tan skin.

Roxas was so involved in trying to figure out if white was his real hair color (His eyebrows were white also so it had to be unnatural unless he had dyed that as well?) that he hadn't even noticed that the boy was talking to him.

"Are you okay Sora?" The boy asked, snapping Roxas from his contemplations. Roxas tilted his head in thought, trying to figure out a way to tell the boy he was no Sora without actually having to speak. He should have a sign around his neck telling people he wasn't Sora but since this would be useful sign did not exist yet, Roxas settled for shaking his head and then making an x with his arms. He hoped that the boy in front of him was smart enough to figure out his message. If he wasn't then oh well his fault because Roxas wasn't going to make any more effort.

He watched as green eyes narrowed in though before widening in realization and Roxas was glad that Sora had managed to find himself some smart friends. Maybe some of their intelligence would rub off on his other conscious although that was probably just wishful thinking.

"You're Roxas aren't you?" The boy asked and Roxas nodded. "Ah, my name is Riku."

Roxas blinked in surprise when he realized that the boy in front of him was the same boy that Sora wrote about having a crush on. Well, he had to say his other conscious had good tastes. Good looking and smart. Roxas made a note to ask Sora if silver was Riku's natural hair color. Seriously…silver isn't a natural color right? He had heard of white hair but never silver.

"Are you headed to the cafeteria for breakfast? If you don't know the way I can show you." Riku offered and Roxas nodded hesitantly. He had a shit sense of direction so if he had to find his own way to the cafeteria he would more than likely end up in the basement or something and that was a place nobody ever wanted to go. Sora had written before that there were rumors that there used to be experiments in the basement that turned patients into zombies and those zombies still roamed down there. Then again, Sora was easy to scare so it was a possibility that the patients just made that up to scare him.

Roxas followed Riku down the halls. Normally he wouldn't trust anybody to not lead him somewhere and beat the shit out of him, it had happened once with a guy named Seifer, but if Sora trusted this boy then he had to be somewhat trustworthy. In theory.

Soon enough Roxas began to hear multiple voices which escalated in volume until they finally entered the cafeteria. The room was huge since it's one of the two rooms which connected with the girl's part of the building, the other being the rec building. Almost all the tables were full since it was probably late morning and the volume of all the voices was almost overwhelming to him. He really was unused to being out and about and if it wasn't for his grumbling stomach he would have left.

Roxas nervously followed Riku to the lineup for breakfast, ignoring the greetings he received and letting Riku explain that he wasn't Sora. He would have done it himself but he was lazy. He studied the food that everyone was getting and tried to figure out what it was exactly. He supposed the closest he could say it looked like was porridge but was porridge supposed to have chunks of what looked like meat? Then again they were green chunks and he never heard of green meat before. Roxas looked at the plate the lady behind the counter gave him which held the questionable food and debated if his stomach was worth it. Surely this wasn't healthy. What if this was the institute's plan? To poison all the patients!

Sighing and shaking his head, Roxas drifted away from Riku who seemed to have the sense to not follow and looked for a place to sit. He picked a table in the corner where he could watch everyone and no one could approach him without him seeing them first. No, he wasn't paranoid, he was just liked to keep it safe. He was living in a building full of crazy people after all. Roxas glanced over the cafeteria, slightly cringing when he took a mouthful of goop, yes that word seemed to describe the food (?) perfectly, then grimaced when he saw something big and red coming towards him. No, it wasn't a fire truck it was Axel.

Roxas steadily ignored the red head who decided to sit himself across from him. Axel didn't seem the least bit perturbed by it and instead he gave Roxas a grin before he began to eat the food (Seriously can it even be called that?). Roxas laughed to himself when he saw Axel grimace at the taste also and he was a bit happy to find that he wasn't the only one who hated it.

"Do you think if I poured this on the table it will move?" Axel whispered to Roxas with a straight face. Roxas studied the contents in his bowl and realized that he would not be surprised in the least if it did. Obviously wanting to test it, Axel poured some of the substance on the table and both Roxas and Axel stared at it for a few minutes. When it didn't move Roxas sighed in relief at the same time as Axel sighed in disappointment. If Roxas was speaking, he would have told Axel that he shouldn't be disappointed because even if it had moved they would still have had to eat it. It would just be more disgusting.

"I was hoping something actually entertaining would happen." Axel explained with a pout and Roxas nearly chuckled but he caught himself in time. He frowned and reminded himself that he shouldn't allow himself to get so comfortable around someone especially his roommate who just spelt trouble.

Shaking his head, Roxas finished eating, he hoped he wouldn't have stomach problems later since he didn't know where the bathrooms were, and without looking at the red head he left the table. He put his plate in one of the several bins located around the cafeteria before he left. He was glad Axel didn't follow him like Roxas had half expected him too. He was in the middle of a hallway before he realized that he had absolutely no idea where his room was.

* * *

Sorry that this chapter didn't have a lot happening in it thing will pick up in the next chapter. Tell me what you thought your reviews make me write faster!


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